Archive for May, 2011

My Stomach Hurts

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Every night at about 2 or 3 in the morning I wake up in enormous pain. The  pain gets worse every day. This has happened for about two years. It’s a straight line of pain that goes from one side of my stomach to the other. Sometimes the pain is so great I can’t sleep […] Read On…

10 Reasons to Do Nothing

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I had 2000 words written for a post this morning and my computer crashed and like the most base, worst, amateur, I didn’t have the file saved and I didn’t have any auto-save. I was up at 3am today, I finished my reading (Miranda July, Charles Bukowski, Haruki Murakami, Jonathan Ames, ) and coffee by […] Read On…

Bristol Palin: Did She or Didn’t She?

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I’m on a news diet. News is bad for your mental sanity. It makes me depressed. Someone is always dying. There’s always misery and pain someplace. And its usually vicarious, like, “there but for the grace of god go I”, on every cover. Its not like the news is lies. Its reality, spread out like […] Read On…

About Me In 15 Questions

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Four or five years ago, a reader of some of my columns bought the domain name jamesaltucher.com and gave it to me as a birthday gift. It was a total surprise to me. I didn’t even know the reader. I hope one day we meet. Two years ago a friend of mine, Tim Sykes, insisted […] Read On…

Why I Would Rather Shoot Myself In the Head Than Own a Home

tila

I only had one friend in MySpace when I joined in 2005. “Tom”. In fact, all 100 million people who had joined MySpace had one friend. “Tom”. He welcomed us all to our new cyber home and made us feel as comfortable as possible there. “Tom” is Tom Anderson, a cofounder of the MySpace, the […] Read On…

An Idea I Had that Went Down the Drain

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I was in the process of separating from my ex-wife and the pain was bordering on suicidal. At the same time my whole family was moving into a new home right at the bottom of the worst housing crisis in the century. At the same time I owned a bunch of stocks  and they were […] Read On…

The One Week Heroin Addict

amybighairsm

“Listen,” I said to the nurse and now I feel bad about it, “I called in for a PERCOCET prescription. You told me, ‘Done!’ and then I went to the pharmacy, waited around for 30 minutes , came back home all excited with my new toys, opened up and saw it was Vicodin. You guys […] Read On…