Archive for June, 2011

How I Met Claudia

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I was on one of my first dates after I had separated from my wife and the girl asked straight out what my net worth was within five minutes of sitting down. I had met the girl in an elevator the night before. I was walking into a building to visit another woman. I noticed […] Read On…

The Crappy FAQ: All Questions Answered About Crappy People

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A lot of people had additional questions about my article: “How to Deal with Crappy People”. Here are my responses. Q: Seriously? You walk around thinking stuff like that about total strangers, who have never so much as looked at you, let alone harmed you? A: Yes. Seriously. Maybe you are judging me? My challenge […] Read On…

Politics is a Scam – Why I Will Never Vote Again

I had five seconds to make the secretive most powerful man in the world like me so I could potentially make millions. “James,” Bill McCluskey said to me, “this is Alan Quasha.” Bill was CEO of Brean Murray, one of the mini-banks I considered selling my fund of hedge funds to in 2006. We had […] Read On…

I Shouldn’t Want to Be Liked So Much

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I went to a dinner the other night where I was the featured guest and by the end of the evening almost everyone there hated me. It feels bad to be so obviously hated and I always want to be liked. I probably want that too much. The reason I was a featured guest is […] Read On…

Suicide, and 13 Other Ways to Deal with Failure

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I’m really scared to stand in one place in Grand Central. Because then you hear all the people who are doomed rushing around you.  But that’s where I was yesterday.  Two older guys in suits, red and brown ties, gray hair, glasses, balding, big noses, big guts, walking faster than they normally walk so they […] Read On…

16 Failures out of 17 Attempts

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What a weird thing. Its only 8am and so far today I’ve already seen three different, young, pretty women, each with the same distracting physical feature. They all had only one hand. And it’s distracting me from the real issue I wanted to write about. It makes me wonder: will someone brand new love them? […] Read On…