But whatever happened to “if you can’t say something nice, then say nothing at all”?

Ask Mel Gibson how he feels about honesty. It’s gotten him in trouble more than once.

Also, dealing in such definites like “Are you doing everything you can do so you don’t die an early death from liver or kidney or lung cancer? If you aren’t, then you are lying to yourself.” or “Are your ideas good or are you delusional and lying to yourself” are some of the most ridiculous thing i have ever seen, heard or read. I smoke and drink, but I am not kidding myself that these things won’t kill me. That is the third of an infinite amount of possible options that you fail to mention. Are my ideas good or am i delusional? That is a little extreme don’t you think.

I know I have the right to not read on, but I also have the right to throw in my 2cents

Unless, of course, your really serious about truth.

God is a lie man made up to enslave.  When someone dies you lie to yourself asserting they are in a better place.  Fact is you know exactly where they are…the ground as worm compost.  See how the god lie keeps you from the truth?

Balanced life.  Talked aobut for 5,000 years.  Maybe someday we’ll get it.
Be grateful for what you have, not have anyone after you, and have good, solid friends.
Have a multimillionaire internal state.  Then you are wealthy.

I have been conscious of my lying (and the ridiculous amount of it I have done) for the last year or so. It is really hard to break the habit, but it has been rewarding the more honest I’ve become.

My question is, how can you know if your honesty will hurt someone? I mean, outside of the obvious. Sometimes in being honest, others will be hurt. Do you mean more in the intent? IOW, do not intend to hurt with honesty?

“The truth is free. Lies cost money.” 

I came up with it when, after giving up my banking career and moving to Costa Rica to start a hotel, American guests would constantly ask me where they could get a good real estate deal.  I would tell them all “forget Costa Rica real estate, sell your house in the U.S., housing is a bubble about to collapse.  They all looked at me like I was crazy, most of them laughed, and walked away.

My wife thought I was crazy.  “Why don’t you sell them real estate, like another hotel owner was doing, and make some money?” 

You want the truth? I’ll give it to you for free.  You want me to lie? It will cost you money.

But to the point of this post – I completely agree.
The truth shall set you free is a fact – and like you allude to with the girlfriend example – sometimes it hurts.  At first.  But inevitably – most of us will benefit long term. [not all]

I have become incredibly honest based on some counseling I once received that I totally believed.  However – many of my friends cannot accept the honesty and get pissed because I am too blunt.  Maybe it’s just the delivery – but maybe not.  I have absolutely cost myself friendships from Honesty – friendships I am better off without for sure.  But I have a lot less friends.  And my long-term friends are mostly all gone. [maybe there were other reasons as well]

But as to the point of the Title of this entry – I totally agree that money buys honesty.  At least a certain level of comfort.  When I was killing in on Wall Street a few years back – I was overly-honest and didn’t much care – because my customers loved me for it and it became something of a red badge of courage.  But many coworkers hated me for it.  In the end – I didn’t care – new friends came and went.  I was always able to pick up the tab or treat to the rental car or beach cabana or whatever – and thus a new batch of friends — who I could lose again by being truthful and frank.  I could sit down at any bar – buy some drinks for those around me – and be swapping phone numbers and party plans within 15 minutes.  And some of these people turned out to be pretty cool.

I just didn’t care if my old ones stuck around as a new crop sprouted weekly.

Nowadays – with paychecks meager at best – I fear telling others the truth because if they leave me now – it might be hard to come by some new ones.  Maybe I don;t need friends like THIS – but everybody needs friends.
And if I risk hurting their feelings now – well, that would suck.  Perhaps better to white lie a bit and have friends – then have none at all.

Just being honest : )