Archive for August, 2011

  • Stealing Isn’t Good…I Think
    Posted by on August 23rd, 2011 at 6:03 pm, Comments: 0

    I stole about $15 from a guy on my paper route. I forget the exact amount. He accidentally gave me the wrong bill as a tip. Instead of giving me a $5 he gave me a $20. The details aren’t important. I was a privileged middle class kid living in a suburban neighborhood and I had a paper route, an allowance from my parents, an allowance from my grandparents, and I regularly stole money from my dad’s wallet. Not to mention I dipped into the bank account that had my college savings in it whenever I really needed to make a serious purchase. Like a sweater. Or comic books. Without telling my parents who were depositing money in there to afford my college.

  • Shakespeare is Awful, Jefferson was a Rapist, and Pi is Useless
    Posted by on August 22nd, 2011 at 2:20 pm, Comments: 0

    I’m going to be dead honest just to clear the air on this one: I only have a vague idea what Pi does. I could google it right now but that would be cheating. I think pi * the diameter equals the circumference. And there’s some other way you can use pi to get the area but I forget how (Pi * radius squared?). But the point is, I’m not sure. I know Pi = 3.14 and another infinite number of digits after that.

  • How to Be a Human
    Posted by on August 20th, 2011 at 10:28 am, Comments: 0

    “james altucher is a f’ing idiot on parade” someone wrote on a message board the other day. I don’t really like parades. But it got me to wonder about the psychology of people who take valuable time out of their day to write things like that. Not just about me but about anyone.

    In general people get angry at me because I say in various ways that the world is not falling apart. That we’re not all going to die at the hands of some obscure European debt crisis or whatever the latest crisis of the week is in the media.

  • Success is a Sexually Transmitted Disease
    Posted by on August 18th, 2011 at 4:27 pm, Comments: 0

    Let’s be straight out honest: Success is a contagious disease. By the way, it starts out as a sexually transmitted disease. If you want to have sex with pretty girls or pretty boys then you need to at least convince yourself you’re successful in some way. This builds confidence and libido, which leads to more sexual encounters, which in turn increases the desire for more sexual encounters, so you need more success.

  • Girls, Girls, Girls
    Posted by on August 17th, 2011 at 4:14 pm, Comments: 0

    “Does it bother you,” I asked him, “the thought that another guy is now this very moment kissing her or even doing more?”

    “I don’t really think about it.” Richard said.

    Richard had an arrangement with his ex-girlfriend. He had gone out with her for five years but now they were broken up. But whenever he was back in Boston, she’d move out of her current boyfriend’s house and spend the week with Richard. Then Richard would come back to Pittsburgh and she’d go back to her current boyfriend. Her current boyfriend was okay with the whole thing.