ASK JAMES: Threesomes, Success, Can 60 year old women be pedofiles? and more!

We all keep our unhappiness to ourselves as much as possible. Why kid ourselves about that? We try to have sex with people and then maybe we can unload some of that unhappiness for a few moments. We say, “you look pretty today” and we feel good to make someone happy. But then life kicks in again and we’re unhappy until we find the next trick.We get older. And with age we get uglier. We get more worried about money. About ambition. About the world. Until one day, we’re relieved. It’s about to be over! In between these moments of unhappiness we boast we’ve found a cure. But the cure only lasts for so long.

We get brainwashed by the government, by our teachers, by the economists on Wall Street, each with their agendas, each trying to teach us happiness even though more unhappiness is the only result.

I’ve created a laboratory of my unhappiness. I scrape off cultures from my brain and put them in test tubes and watch them grow. What makes the unhappiness worse? What makes it better? I share some of this in my latest book.

I also like to share on Thursdays between 3:30 and 4:30. People can ask questions about anything and I will attempt to answer. Sometimes people just need to ask and that’s the catharsis. Sometimes they need to know someone thinks the same way they do and this is a safe environment for that. And sometimes they need to be turned upside down in order to be set straight. Every Saturday I’ll do a recap of some of the things discussed via twitter on those Thursdays. Here it is:

 

SUCCESS:

@TALENTED_BLONDE asks: “How do you define Success”

My twitter answer: I define success by whatever it takes to secure freedom, both externally and in my mind (which has its myriad traps)

Expanded Answer:

A friend of mine had breakfast with a well-known billionaire. All the billionaire kept doing throughout the entire  breakfast was complain about how Larry Page has $18 billion and he “only has $2 billion”.

Most people set goals and when they’ve achieved those goals they think two things: “Wow, I’m successful!” and then…”Wait a second. I want more!”

I think we’ve been, as a society, brainwashed into thinking that the trappings of success (money, fame, promotions at a job) will get us to happiness. See my post, “Success is a Sexually Contagious Disease”

I agree that they will HELP us get to happiness, but that happiness and true success aren’t related to the achievement of those goals we set for ourselves.

Success ultimately boils down to the questions we ask ourselves which are related to THE DAILY PRACTICE I recommend:

  • 1)      Are we healthy?
  • 2)      Are we emotionally healthy? Do we surround ourselves with people we love and who love us and avoid “the dance” with the people who bring us down?
  • 3)      Are we mentally healthy? i.e. do we generate good ideas and use those ideas to benefit ourselves and others?
  • 4)      Are we spiritually healthy? i.e. do we have a good sense of “surrender” and use that sense to walk through life with humility, gratitude and reverence.

External success allows us the freedom to pursue these internal successes. That’s real success! And we never achieve it but always continuously strive for it.

(Anna Nicole - Success in the wrong direction leads to this)

 

HOW TO ACHIEVE WEALTH?

@djmainevent  asks: what would be your strategy to get wealthy?

My answer: the only strategy. build a business that starts with a paying customer. then get 2 customers. repeat. then wealth

Expanded Answer:

I think a lot of people get lucky on the road to wealth. They build some company in a hot space, and  they sell for an ungodly high number. Think Bebo, which got bought by AOL for a billion and then sold for $10 million a year or so later. Those founders got fabulously wealthy.

But for the rest of us that won’t happen.

The real way to get wealth is to find a customer and perform a service for that customer. Then repeat. My first company found a customer (a company that needed a website) and built the website for that customer. Then we found another customer and built that website. And word of mouth spread and before you knew it we were making websites for dozens of companies. I also always made sure I delivered at least one extra feature that the company didn’t ask for.

One way to get a customer is to help other companies get customers and you charge for that service. If you live by a bunch of gyms, put up facebook ads for those gyms and then charge them for every customer that walks through the door, for instance.

But, you must get the idea muscle in shape. The idea muscle is like any other muscle. Within 2-3 weeks of no use it atrophies. If you don’t use your legs for two weeks you won’t be able to work. Same thing here.

So every day, get to work. Come up with ideas. For yourself, for others, for other companies. Give it a few weeks before you suspect that you might be in shape. Then a few months before you’re ready to start sharing your ideas. At this point your ideas will be good enough to help other people make money. When you make other people make money, then you will make money. Then you repeat that and it’s a business.

Here’s a link to my post describing my first experience as an entrepreneur:  The Easiest Way To Succeed as an Enterpreneur

 

(more JSG Boggs. Wealth comes from the inside. Outerwealth is a reflection of that. Not pieces of paper).

MENAGE A TROIS?

@bear23 asks: what’s the easiest way to get into a threesome.

My answer: go to a yoga class or a tango class.

Expanded Answer: Not having been in one, I assume the easiest way (now that I think about it) is to use Craigslist and just put an ad up. Shouldn’t be too hard.

BUT, that said, if you’re a guy and want to meet women IN BULK, who want to meet men and who have the full spectrum of tastes and desires then, as Wayne Gretzky says, you have to skate to where the puck is going.

If you hang out at the local chess club you’re not going to meet women.

If you hang out at cooking class you’re going to meet women who want to get married.

But if you go to yoga class and tango class then you’re going to meet beautiful, sexy, women who are physically healthy, stretch the boundaries of what they are willing to attempt physically, and perhaps most importantly, they want to meet men. Not everyone, of course (if that were the case then there would be more men in these classes than women) but some definitely. So stop watching football on a Sunday afternoon (i.e. no women) and go to the nearest tango class (lot of women).

For me personally, I like one on one and falling in love. My guy friends always think I’m like a girl. The second I have sex with a girl I fall in love. Which means I then get in trouble. I can’t imagine getting in trouble with two girls. And on top it, performance anxiety with one girl is enough, I don’t need the headaches of two.

SHOULD a 60 Year Old SEXT a 14 YEAR OLD?

@parmchar asks the above;

Expanded answer:

Sexting refers to texting sexual messages. It’s a flirtation. It’s an intrigue. In general, I think people should be honest with their feelings and not do too much intrigue. It’s not the cold war anymore. It’s time to come out from the cold.

That said, its illegal for a sixty year old to have sex with a 14 year old. But it’s not illegal to flirt. The 60 year old feels young again in this example. And the 14 year old, for perhaps the first time in his life, feels flattered and builds confidence. So with the qualification that I think all intrigue should be avoided, I think this can be healthy behavior.

 

I wish Julie Newmar had sexted me when i was 14.

THE BIGGEST CHEAT ON WALL STREET

@Affinityps asks: Who is the biggest cheat on Wall Street.

Expanded answer: you are. Why does the average retail investor do 25 months of redemption from domestic equities? And then why do they buy every other product Wall Street peddles them.

I was once pitching an ETF. Here’s the ETF: we’d buy 100 stocks owned by super investors: Warren Buffett, Carl Icahn, etc. It would be “The Superinvestor ETF”. What a load of bullshit. Many years these investors are 30 or 40% behind the market. They are already rich. They can care less about you or me.

But the guys I was pitching to said, “YES! This is brilliant. Let’s do it.”  They wanted to put up the first $100 million for it” But I didn’t do it. Nobody needs yet another schlocky wall street product to peddle to grandma and grandpa who worked hard for the little packets of pennies hidden in the mattress.

So who is the biggest cheat? Really the middleman. Everything he says, everything he sells, every number he shows you to show how great his product is, is a lie. Stay away.

 HOW DO YOU DO THINGS YOU HATE?

liewmomo asks: @jaltucher Or rather, how do you do things you hate but HAVE to do?
Expanded Answer: There’s a couple of answers now that I think more of it.
A) Each day limit the things you do that you hate. If you hate talkng to your boss, for instance, then either talk less to your boss (no social chit-chat, no extra brown-nosing chats, etc) or Quit Your Job. If you don’t want to go to a wedding then just don’t go.
B) If you absolutely have to do something then learn something from it. Sergey Brin says he can tell in a few seconds of an interview if he is going to hire someone. But he can’t just leave the interview. So he makes sure he learns at least one thing. I often don’t want to go into NYC for meetings. But I always make sure there’s at least one adventure along the way.
C) Stop Hating so much? There’s two sides to the equation: there’s the thing you ‘have to do’ and there’s the thing you ‘hate’. In the above two items we deal with how you can change what you do. But can we also change what you Hate? Why do you hate it? For everything you hate, can you list some positives? I hate going on a plane. But the positive is that i’ll have an adventure in a new place. I hate when people make bad comments on any of my articles. But the positive is that I know I’m deeply affecting them and that something inside of them is forcing them to respond in a hateful way. Suddenly it becomes a pleasure to get these comments. I used to hate dating. But I knew eventually, with quantity, I would meet someone with quality.

35 DATES in 35 DAYS

@Rita_Colbert asked how she could get people to her blog,

My answer: everyone should go to Rita’s blog. She’s blogging 35 dates in 35 days. ritasquest.wordpress.com

Expanded Answer: I was promotional. If she had a not so good blog I would’ve given completely different advice.

Rita is literally going on 35 dates, blogging each one, and doing it in 35 days. And I can see from reading the posts in her blog – she’s a total love addict. I feel like I’m one also. I.e. you meet someone and project all sorts of stuff onto them that’s not there and then you fall in love.

So to get over her love addiction she’s almost ODing on love. It’s lke smoking 1000 cigarettes in a row to get over smoking. So it’s interesting enough to peruse.

If she’d didn’t have a good blog I woul’ve suggested:

  • A)     Keep reading quality writing so you can improve the quality in your blogs.
  • B)      Tell more honest stories in your blog. Bleed so we can see what you are really made of. Don’t just say “10 tips to success”. Share an intimacy so we can be intimate.
  • C)      Guest post on other blogs and link back to your blog.

Storytelling has worked for 5000 years. It’s not going to stop now just because we have blogs and tweets. Rita is definitely doing some good storytelling.

 

SHOULD THE GOVERNMENT CONTROL  CEO BONUSES

@SteathAviator asked that.

Expanded answer :

You mean the same US government with 9% unemployment and military actions in 120 countires and 2 major wars? The same government that can’t get rid of deadlock over the debt ceilings, etc? How many things have the government botched in the past decade? 9/11, wars in Iraq and Afghanistan with no exit strategy. Countless deadlocks, roadblocks, etc between Congress and the President.

Why do you now want them to control salaries? How will they botch that also? Shareholders need to ultimately hold the heads of their companies responsible for misdeeds. We’re going through a transforming time. Using the government will only postpone that transformation because now we’ll have too many parties to blame.

I’m really disgusted with all politics and not any politician in general. This is obviously nothing new. Most people share that belief. But let’s act on it. We can actually Abolish The Presidency and life would be a lot better.

(healthy?)

HOW DID I GO FROM HBO TO HEDGE FUNDS

@Hamzah81 asked this. I wrote that I would do a post about it but in a nutshell:

I worked at HBO and then I inappropriately hired myself to HBO’s website. It was a success. Other companies started hiring me to do their websites because they wanted HBO’s flavor Eventually I had to quit HBO, had millions in revenues, and sold the company.

The company I sold to was for stock. That stock multiplied by 10 and I was able to sell a lot. Then, thinking I was a genius I bought every internet stock I could find and watch the all go to zero. I lost $15 milion dollars. So I had to rebuild. I was depressed and losing my home.

I wrote software to take my emotions out of the equation. The software traded automatically. The basic idea is that when a stock fell 20% or more in a day, it was usually good for a 6% pop over the next few days. I tested this statistically and it worked and it worked for me throughout all of 2001 and 2002. I sent my ideas to a few hedge fund managers and they decided to trust me with their money in managed accounts.

Note: I had no experience making websites, no experience in TV, no experience in trading, and no experience in writing for financial media. But I did it anyway. Nobody was going to tell me not to. I would not have istened. (See also, 10 things I learned trading for Victor Niederhoffer)

WHAT DO I LOVE MOST ABOUT MY LIFE?

@TalentedBlonde asked this.

My answer: I love most that I can answer a question like that.

I really hope to do this every Thursday. Do I have anything to offer? Who knows? I try to define a different way of thinking in my just-released book:

(it’s now available. Click here for paperback. Kindle ready in 3 weeks). Is it bad to be so self-promotional? I have a hard time with it. But as Jim Cramer once told me, if you don’t promote yourself then nobody else will.

 

 

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