Thank You, Claudia

Posted by James Altucher

Thanks for getting better from the Lyme disease. You’ve been sick since August and quite frankly, it’s been a real drag for me.

Thanks for coming to all of my talks. You’ve probably heard me say the same joke about Aaron Spelling 15 times in a row and you still laugh. But it’s really true, if I haven’t met you I would’ve either met the love of my life on “The Love Boat” or “Fantasy Island” since that’s what I was trained as a nine year old to believe.

Thanks for making coffee in the morning. You have the right mixture of half-and-half and sugar. In every way.

Thanks for enjoying doing absolutely nothing. Even when we went to India, my best time was just lying around the room and reading. I’m glad you liked doing that also. And regularly falling asleep by 7pm so we can wake up in the total dark at 3 or 4 in the morning. I really don’t like site-seeing and I’m glad you feel the same way.

Thanks for not minding when I write about ex-girlfriends on this blog even though I don’t think I would like if you wrote about ex-boyfriends on your blog.

Thanks for writing your first book when I wrote “How to be the luckiest person alive“. I think success comes in pairs. You’re Larry Page to my Sergey Brin. Matisse to my Picasso ( I would say Dora Maar, since she was from Argentina but Picasso didn’t meet her until he was 55 and there was the 26 year age difference and they didn’t last. But she did grow up in Argentina), Stephen Spielberg to my George Lucas, Kim Kardashian to my Paris Hilton. You get the idea.

(Dora Maar Au Chat

Several things I NEVER would have done if I hadn’t met you. Yoga (See, “How I was Humiliated by Yoga“), and going to Argentina, and taking tango lessons, and eating less red meat. I didn’t even know Argentina existed. And I thought Yoga was just a way to meet pretty girls (well, it is. But I realized it’s also more.) So thanks.

Thanks for playing Chinese Checkers with me the other day. It re-awoke my love for the game. I wish you had played again, though, so maybe I would’ve had a chance to let you win. Or not.

Three Thanksgivings ago I was sitting in “The Red Flame” diner by myself eating a turkey sandwich on white toast. I had just spent the day pretending to be a psychic out of sheer loneliness. This Thanksgiving I’m going to be on a plane the entire day. Thanks for booking it and making sure we get to sit together. I hope you got the extra leg room seats but if not, that’s ok also.

Most of all, thanks for calling “bullshit” on me in all the nicest ways possible. Most people don’t know the Art of the CBC (Constructive Bullshit Call). Your advice is always invaluable, never expressed in a critical fashion (which my fragile ego wouldn’t be able to handle), and always done with love. So thanks.