Archive for December, 2011

  • Ask James: World peace, is sex better than money, how to start new things, and how to stop caring what people think about you
    Posted by on December 24th, 2011 at 10:34 am, Comments: 0

    Each Thursday from 3:30-4:30 EST I hold a Q&A session on Twitter. I love doing it and I really appreciate all the questions I get and I hope my answers are helpful. It fulfills my sincere, lifelong dream to be the new Dear Abby. Then on the weekend I expand some of the answers and make this blog post. I am also putting together a big that expands some of the answers even further and also includes some original material I get from questions I answer via email. The title of that book (working title) is: “FAQ ME”. Here are the results from this week’s Q&A:  (also, now’s a good time to Follow Me on Twitter)

  • How I Cured My Constipation
    Posted by on December 23rd, 2011 at 9:59 am, Comments: 0

    Western medicine is the best thing to hit this planet. Which is why lifespans are up all over the West despite rising obesity and complete lack of care for our bodies. No joke, there’s a wikipedia entry for “Head transplants”. In other words, if your body is racked with cancer but your brain and head are fine they can cut your head off and put on top of a dead body and you can live. Theoretically. They haven’t done it yet but they will. They’d done it with monkeys, dogs, and rats. And with the rats they even left the old head on. It’s gross but we’re going to live forever.

  • Mistakes Were Made
    Posted by on December 21st, 2011 at 8:25 am, Comments: 0

    Sometimes in the middle of the day, totally by reflex or accident, I blurt out, “No” really loud. The word escapes my throat before I can stop it. I’m daydreaming about some mistake I made over the past 40 years and how embarrassing it was. How ashamed I feel. I want to take it back and I can’t help myself. Out it goes, “No.” “NO!” Claudia is used to it. My kids are used to it but sometimes if it’s in front of their friends they have to explain what’s happening.

  • Giving a condom. Plus 11 Other Things One Can Give
    Posted by on December 20th, 2011 at 3:23 pm, Comments: 0

    I was a bit surprised when she gave me a condom as a present. A few days earlier she had interviewed me for a Japanese magazine. This was around 1996 and the company I had started was building websites for many entertainment companies. When she did the interview we were surrounded by a couple of people from my company, including Valerie, who had made the introduction.

    All I remember from the interview was her asking, in extremely stilted English, what I thought of Leonardo Di Caprio. Apparently everyone in Japan was going crazy for him. I vaguely knew who he was at the time. Titanic hadn’t come out yet and I had never seen Gilbert Grape (and still haven’t).

  • Kim Jong il – the Chef of Love
    Posted by on December 20th, 2011 at 9:20 am, Comments: 0

    Kim Jong Il’s death has not satisfied my insatiable hunger for sex, money, or happiness. The natural human frenzy to persist past our excretions has finally been laid to rest with the Great Leader.

    Wait a second, how did you know this? I thought you don’t read news!

    (85% of his people survived from food in the past 20 years)