How to Write Your Own Two Page Self Help Book in Thirty Seconds

tonyrobbins

Sometimes I’m really bad at following advice. Even my own advice. I still get afraid at three in the morning. I’m still afraid of losing the people I love. Or money I’ve earned. Or I’m afraid of people talking about me behind my back. Or maybe my kids won’t like me. Or maybe Claudia won’t like me if she finds out about the “real” me.

Or I get shy at a dinner or a party. Sometimes I feel like I’m scared all the time. And if I’m not scared, I’m angry. Like why didn’t they call me back? Or answer my emails? Or why does this one person send me angry messages all the time?

I feel like in the past fewyears I’ve gotten a little better. I’ve gone from a suicidal, broke, separated lonely mess too…better. And I’ve written about it in various places in this blog. But there’s always moments where no advice helps. Where you sit there with the thoughts filling up your head and you reach the only possible conclusion. I’m mentally ill and I can’t escape.

And then you have to start from scratch. To go back to the basic principles.

Tony Robbins has advice. The  Forum has advice. The Rich Dad has advice. Eckhart Tolle has advice. We hop from guru to guru hoping that this is the one with the “ten steps” or “12 steps” or “8 rungs” or “4 questions” or whatever that can bring us the happiness we are sure we deserve. Spiritual materialism, the constant seeking for an answer we’ll never find, has replaced religion in our society.

(Tony Robbins is eight feet tall)

Try this:

Write your own two page self-help book. Put your name at top. Then list your absolute basic principles.

Here’s my basic list. My starting point that I pull myself back to when the pain grips my head:

  • Dont hurt anyone
  • Be honest
  • Be healthy (physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually) – which I describe in 50 posts on this blog and in my book.

Before you do the whole list let’s go over some basic principles. We know one thing that’s withstood the test of time:

–          Don’t harm anyone. In their own ways Jesus said it, Buddha said it, Moses said it (before Joshua killed every man, woman, and child in some random city in the Middle East. The Biblical version of the Arab Spring).

But this principle goes beyond physically harming someone.

–          Don’t say anything to someone that would hurt their feelings, unless you truly thought it would be constructive. But in order to do that you have to have the ability to know what “constructive” is, which is hard. So best to just never say anything bad to someone.

–          Harming includes all sorts of other things: cheating, stealing, writing about them, writing emails to them, leaving anonymous comments, playing a practical joke, not following up on a promise, overpromising and underdelivering (my own trademarked way that I harm people). Lending them money can be harming them. Borrowing money can be.

(neither a borrower nor a lender be - Ben Franklin. I'm guilty of both)

–          Trying to control them. The other day for instance my 12 year old suddenly didn’t want to watch “Glee”. Needless to say, I was VERY upset and tried to control her decision. We were still halfway through season Two. They hadn’t even gotten to Nationals yet! Where did this suddenly come from: “It’s too mature for me.” WHAT!? But ok, I can’t control her. She showed me “Avatar” instead, which I liked.

–          Thinking bad thoughts about them.   Buddha said, before, during, and after any act you do/speak and even THINK, make sure you aren’t harming anyone. Because even thoughts have consequences – they lead to other thoughts down the road, which could lead to harm. [See, “Was Buddha a Bad Father“]

How can thoughts lead to harm? Well, you don’t want to harm YOURSELF. My biggest challenge every morning is that I usually wake up angry at someone. Usually someone close to me. And the cast of characters I’m angry at rotates so I don’t bore myself in the mornings but find someone new to be angry about. Then I find something to be scared about. Then I have to look at the mirror at myself and then I get really scared. Who let him in the house!?

You don’t want to do other things that harm yourself either. Not following up with people who are good to you. Not being nice to the people who love you. Bad diet. No exercise.

I want to improve with age but most people, because they like to harm themselves, reach a “tipping point” (sorry Malcom Gladwell, but I’m about to totally bastardize your phrase) where suddenly things get bad in their bodies and they never get better.

(Gladwell)

This is usually because they harmed their bodies or minds when they were younger. Every thought of anger or fear you have (and anger is just a type of fear, among many other different shades of that magnificently evil emotion) is like a hammer against your brain. Eventually, or so I hear from hospitals, if you are hit with a hammer long enough it causes permanent damage.

Wow, so that was just one suggested principle of the two page self-help book you should do. But I suggest it, again, because its withheld the test of time.

Let me tell you something about “the test of time”. It works. Let’s pick a random pop star that everyone reading this blog probably dislikes: Justin Bieber. I think he’s worked hard but whatever. I’ll never buy a song by him.

Unlesss…

He did a cover of “Yesterday” by the Beatles. Or “Hey Jude”. Or “Disco inferno” (you may argue on this one). But if Justin Bieber did a cover of “Yesterday” or”Purple Haze” it would instantly go to #1. Why? Because it’s a song that’s withstood the test of time. So it works.  (think Marky Mark re-doing Lou Reed’s “Walk on the Wild Side”. BAM! I thought I would never get anything by Marky Mark and there he goes and does a cover of the best song of all time).

So think about it: what are the five most important principles (other than “Do no harm”) in your self-help book?

We spend so much of our times trying to deal with our fears: fear of poverty, bad health, old age, dying, people hating us, people cheating us, or cheating on us, or craving something we don’t have, people ignoring us. These fears consume most of our day.

But fearing these things have never helped us.We rarely take a deep breath to think of the four or five or ten principles that we should try really hard to live our lives by.

Life compounds on an hourly basis. What you do today and then tomorrow and then the next day, builds up exponentially inside your body and mind. It’s how you create great physical health, emotional health, mental health, spiritual health, and great success.

I’ve written down my basic principles for how I think one can be the luckiest person alive.  But your principles might be different.

We live in an advice culture, with hundreds of dictums of advice thrown at us. So assimilate those, figure out the four limbs, ten commandments, two principles, whatever, that have worked for you in the past. At some point today if you have five seconds, write them down on a piece of paper. Then if you want, share in the comments so I can learn also. Write your Bible. And share them with the world.

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  • Kevinmacduff

    Whosoever has “advice” is a faggot sewer of worthlessness that rivals the Ural Mountain range.

    Cunts.

  • Anonymous

    Yeah I have to agree, when I first subscribed to this blog I was reading
    a fresh distinctive voice in the blogosphere; stories about crazy dare
    devils schemes where Yasser Arafat gets screwed out of $2M… the kind
    of stuff that kept me checking the blog at insane hours of the morning
    (UK time) to see if another installment had been posted.

    I didn’t really subscribe for this continual regurgitation of the same
    self help advice with a slight twist that you keep putting out James.
    Get back to telling us stories about your insane adventures, hairbrained
    ventures, about the economy and why you’re so bullish on it etc … the
    Dr Phil act is getting tiresome!!

    I think his name is perfect though; I like saying it… AL-TU-CHER…. just rolls off your tounge!

  • Andrew_Ferri

    Great post, not ground shaking, but still a positive read.  Thank you James, always appreciate the effort. :)  You set the bar REALLY high.  Still, a lot of unnecessary nasty comments, not constructive, just nasty.

    • http://fastessays.co.uk/ essay writing service

      Agreee nice concept!

  • Pat

    If I can say that I have done the following then I can say I had a great day:
    – I was honest
    – I did not hesitate
    – I was patient
    – I took some time to relax
    – I helped someone
    – I showed appreciation to others and to myself

    • http://twitter.com/VeehCirra Veeh Waithira

      These are nice goals to achieve Pat.  Patience does pay and when we help others we help ourselves in the process.

  • http://www.preemptiveplacebo.com Preemptive Placebo

    – Allow yourself to reach the point of hunger – just a little bit – every day.  Aside from the clarity of thought and physical benefits it produces, a little bit of hunger has some wonderful psychological benefits.

    – Do the things you love as if you were fifteen.  Fuck moderation.  There is a reason that word sounds similar to mediocre.  The two go hand-in-hand.  You don’t want to be average.  Go to extreme.  Full bore.  All out.  Everything you got.  A life spent on the middle road leads to the middle of nowhere. 

    – Ruthlessly trim excess fat.  Do a cost/benefit analysis on everything, everyone, every idea, every habit, every routine, every moment and discard those that fail to produce a positive sum.  It leaves you more time and energy to give to the things you love.

    –  Seek discomfort.  If you don’t have at least one moment every day where you’re a little bit uncomfortable then you are not growing.  Universal law #1, If you are not growing, you are declining. 

    – Seek out the successful and listen when they talk.  The eighty-five year old guy at the gym who can do a handstand…. you can learn a lot from him if you listen.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=732244537 Priscilla Paredes Wood

      I read your comment earlier today and I had written something completely different. I was feeling blue because I had just been dumped. Too bold, too much, were last words I heard from him. So yes, go extreme, be blunt, bold and out there, above all, be authentic, which will scare people off, that is the mediocre bunch.

      • Anonymous

        In reply to P.P.W. and P.P.
        Yes, you want to scare off the mediocre bunch.  They’re just running off to more comfortable ground – let them.

        I’ve been into the discomfort and hunger this month and it’s working out well.  I had indulged myself into so much comfort that I was starting to loathe myself.  It’s like that feeling of wanting to stay in the pool, despite losing body heat, because the air will be colder.  Eventually you have to face the cold air – it’s better for you than staying in the pool.  It benefits you in the long run to get out of the pool.

        And trimming the fat is just right – why spend even one hour in the company of someone who makes you feel like you just wasted one hour of your life?  Let them find a better use for their hour while you find a better use for your hour.  You only get so many hours, after all.

    • Anonymous

      Good thoughts, but sometimes moderation is ok.  And traveling part of the way on the middle of the road allows you to take in and see things you might otherwise miss.

      For me, a restful Sabbath motivates and recharges me.  I’m not super religious, I just enjoy some down time from the push push world.

      I do agree with you about the need to trim the fat.  It’s amazing how much baggage we accumulate.   

  • Hurricanelantern

    All
    sin is born of selfishness.

  • http://blog.joshhaas.com/ Josh Haas

    I love ”
    We live in an advice culture, with hundreds of dictums of advice thrown at us.”  It’s so true.  Advice is everywhere.  Now that we have the internet, we’re exposed to every good idea on the planet.  It gets stressful knowing all the hundreds and hundreds of fantastic great ideas that would make me a better person, more successful, more healthy, more social, etc. etc. that I’m not doing and never will have time to do.  

    I think the number one most important piece of advice is, as long as I’m doing one thing that’s constructive in some way or another, I’m fine.  It doesn’t matter how many other constructive things that I’m not doing.  Just as long as I’m moving forward somehow.

  • Anonymous

    I’ve been working on not saying mean things in blog comment fields.  It’s such an easy thing to do, yet such a lame action.  Even if the person you want to be mean to is also pretty mean and you could deliver a one-liner that would have everyone ROFL at the brilliant zinger. 

    I don’t have time for that kind of pettiness.  It isn’t what I was put on earth to do.  I’m going to direct my energies elsewhere.

    I actually erased some zingers before posting, right here on this very blog, and it was only yesterday.  Critical religious rants from fellow commenters won’t even bring me out to slice up the nonsensical nature of the comment so I can serve it up on a platter right back at them.  I just won’t do it!  Uh… I’m trying, anyway.  Two days and counting with no snarky posts to anyone, anywhere.  After all, I really don’t like it when someone drops the poison pen on me.

    I don’t want to look back someday and say, “I really left some screeds for people to read.  I really told ’em.”

    • http://www.preemptiveplacebo.com Preemptive Placebo

      This turn-the-other-cheek approach can frequently be the best approach.  The damage done to you by conflict is often greater than the internal damage done by trapping in the feelings.  Sometimes.

      But adopting it as an across-the-board approach is disempowering for two reasons. 

      – Others begin to count on it.  They know what your reaction will be…. to present the other cheek for a good slap.  And they will proceed to redden your cheeks. 

      – Slowly over the past few decades we’ve been learning the devastating consequences of bottled-up emotions.  A lifetime of holding things in results in everything from Autoimmune Disorders (where the body attacks itself, ironic eh?) to Zellweger Syndrome.

      • Anonymous

        I meant to say that I’m just being more judicious about it.  For example, it’s a new concept to me that saying nothing does not imply my agreement or endorsement.

        I should probably also work on going ahead and saying what I feel moved to say and just letting it stand.  Meaning: not being baited into a debate to defend my position and hold it up to critical scrutiny.  I don’t have time for defending a dissertation for every hostile person on the interwebs, in other words.

        I’m also not going to worry so much about criticism.  Those who garner none of it have to be the blandest, most ineffective people on Earth.

    • Anonymous

      I failed at my attempt to refrain from being mean.  Since I pledged it here, I felt that I should use this space as my confessional.  Someone who cannot spell exhorted, “Ladies and gentlemen, please remember to get your mammograms and prostrate exams.”  I replied, “The thing I really hate getting done at the doctor is the prostrate exam.”

      I have a fear that some kind of karma will get me for even the smallest infractions.  It was hard to resist, though, and it’s true – I really dislike the prostrate exam.

  • http://736hundred.tumblr.com/ 736hundred

    I would add; to remember nothing is guaranteed and not to take people or situations for granted.

  • murali

    Speak less. And when you do, do so, only if; 1) It does not harm anyone. 2) It is the truth 3) and, if it is necessary.

    • Re

      Sounds like advice from Ben Franklin’s 12 virtues program of self improvement.  It is one of my favorite ones to practice for a week or so.

  • http://twitter.com/NoahLampert NoahLampert

    There’s an excellent book entitled “Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism,” by Chogyam Trungpa. An excellent read with some great wisdom in it. Nice post, James.

  • http://www.jieunjamie.com Ji Eun (Jamie) Lee

    Will try my hands at 2 page self-help ebook. This post was very timely for me. Most recently I’ve reviewed North Korean documentaries.  http://jieunjamie.com/2012/01/north-korea-week-part-1/

  • Anonymous

    Good post. I’ve watched (firsthand) anger, contempt and narcissism destroy someone physically, spiritually and mentally.  It’s not a pretty sight. That “tipping point” is real.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jon-Rowe/1469347192 Jon Rowe

    Right on.  Emotions of stress — fight/flight; anger/fear; irritation-resentment/guilt — stem from our lower animal nature as a survival mechanism.  The key to happiness (easier said than done) is learning to detach from those emotional reactions, or at least to minimize them as much as possible.  When the mind is clear, it’s amazing how a whole world of information and insights can develop.  Learn to take deep breaths and let go.  Or otherwise NOT indulge in emotionally reactive fight/flight type thoughts.  Make yourself focus and shift your attention OFF of the thing that is “on your mind” and learn meditation techniques of letting go and focusing/shifting attention away from the emotionally reactive thought patterns.

  • http://TheInterventionistParadox.wordpress.com/ Bharat

    “We live in an advice culture, with hundreds of dictums of advice thrown at us.” Completely agree,sometimes it’s hard to even cut through all the details to get to the meat. But if you can, you’ll be far better off, and you’ll have advice you can actually follow through with. Kind of reminds me of the argument a lot of anti-market people use when they claim the market has too many choices.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=641195275 Lori Bell

    I am probably going to be one of those people writing a “self-help” book, and there’s going to be a point in that story where I will have to confess that the greatest help I ever got in my life was not “self-help”. It was “help from” my Guru, Adi Da Samraj. (Even though, as far as my “self” is concerned, I did have the sense to “help myself” to Him and His Help, so is that still “self-helping”? : ))

    Maybe one of the most important things I came to understand through considering Adi Da’s Wisdom-Teaching was this: EVERY moment of Life is a moment of Help, of Grace. Whether you experience it as “good” or “bad”. EVERY moment is there to help you realize your highest potential as a human being.

    And what I have also come to understand from Adi Da: Every Human Being’s highest potential is to Realize God Perfectly, even while they are still in a physical body, even while they are living an otherwise ordinary human life. (And in this context “God” is Love-Bliss-Happiness, or Divine Consciousness Itself, or Consciousness which is prior to any identification with “separate self.”)

    Again, from Adi Da: “While you are in your body, you make mind. Once you die, mind makes you.” Our bodies are Mind Making Machines. We have the power (although we often shrink from the conscious responsibility) to Reshape the Patterns of Consciousness Itself. And that, to me, is something to Really Think About…(!)

    So, that’s right, all those other “patterns-patterning” that arise from other parts of our brains and our body-minds…we don’t really have to be Bound by any of that (but, at least based on my experience, it definitely helps to have someone else there who can help you recognize and untie the knots…the more accountability, the better…: )).

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=641195275 Lori Bell

    I am probably going to be one of those people writing a “self-help” book, and there’s going to be a point in that story where I will have to confess that the greatest help I ever got in my life was not “self-help”. It was “help from” my Guru, Adi Da Samraj. (Even though, as far as my “self” is concerned, I did have the sense to “help myself” to Him and His Help, so is that still “self-helping”? : ))

    Maybe one of the most important things I came to understand through considering Adi Da’s Wisdom-Teaching was this: EVERY moment of Life is a moment of Help, of Grace. Whether you experience it as “good” or “bad”. EVERY moment is there to help you realize your highest potential as a human being.

    And what I have also come to understand from Adi Da: Every Human Being’s highest potential is to Realize God Perfectly, even while they are still in a physical body, even while they are living an otherwise ordinary human life. (And in this context “God” is Love-Bliss-Happiness, or Divine Consciousness Itself, or Consciousness which is prior to any identification with “separate self.”)

    Again, from Adi Da: “While you are in your body, you make mind. Once you die, mind makes you.” Our bodies are Mind Making Machines. We have the power (although we often shrink from the conscious responsibility) to Reshape the Patterns of Consciousness Itself. And that, to me, is something to Really Think About…(!)

    So, that’s right, all those other “patterns-patterning” that arise from other parts of our brains and our body-minds…we don’t really have to be Bound by any of that (but, at least based on my experience, it definitely helps to have someone else there who can help you recognize and untie the knots…the more accountability, the better…: )).

    • Dan Limbach

      Good comments @facebook-641195275:disqus . Many times we get help from external forces when we cannot help ourselves.

      I’m curious about the results of studying with your guru. Has it translated into the type of success you have been seeking, made you a more enlightened person, brought you peace? Introspection and philosophy are hard to equate to tangible results. I’m always searching for those who have achieved success through those practices.

      It worked for the Beatles.

      • TheBlueTurtle

        Dan, I know it’s been a year now, but should you get this message…You may want to take a look at my blog here: http://TheBlueMoonTurtleBlog.blogspot.com. I do feel Adi Da’s influence has been helpful in my growth as a human being, but it has probably been greatest for its emphasis on my “First Gift” to Him of having a “functional human life”. I feel I have made a great deal of progress in that area for sure, to the point of feeling that being a Truly Functional and Fully Self-Aware (and otherwise completely ordinary) human being may also be a reasonable goal to shoot for as opposed to becoming “perfectly enlightened”. I have of late decided that although I fully believe such a Level of Being (to use E.F. Schumacher’s term) exists; i.e. One who is Perfectly Self-Aware, and that such a Singular Consciousness pervades all that exists, I no longer feel the need or requirement to Become That myself. Instead, I feel it is more important that I realize my full potential at this slightly lower “Level of Being”, i.e., to be as Self-Aware as I can be, to be as consciously productive and responsible for my actions as I can be at This Level of Being and Leave that Higher Level of functioning and Being to whatever or whomever that Being Already Is. (For more info on the “Levels of Being” I am referring to see E.F. Schumacher’s “A Guide for the Perplexed”.) Hope that makes sense.

  • Jessi Hansen

    Not much different from the 5 Reiki principles: Just for today I will give thanks for my many blessings, I will trust, I will be at peace, I will do my work honestly, I will be kind to all living things.

  • S.G.

    I loathe to quote Oprah of all people, but these fit this topic pretty well…I’m liking the way they sit in my mind anyway.

    “…When people tell/show you who they really are, believe them…”

    “You are responsible for the energy you allow people to bring into your space…and…you are responsible for the energy you bring to them”

    Working on the rest of my principles, will share when have some more!

  • http://twitter.com/cashflowrules Philip Campbell

    Here’s the book I’m always tempted to write on how to handle relationship problems. Work More!

    Girfriend doesn’t understand you. Work More! Why won’t he call me back? Work More! He won’t get his act together financially. Work More! She’s always spending money when she knows it bugs me. Work More!

    Soon you’ll forget about your relationship problems!!! (Well, probably not, but something in me really wants to write that book)!! :-)

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=4933368 Clint Smith

    In all cases, do no harm to others, or choose the least harmful path.
    Always desire to help others.Help others when possible.

    Be the greatest version of yourself every day:
    Choose healthy relationships, or make them healthier.
    Choose healthily for your body, mind, and cultivate your inner peace.

    Enjoy life, because it is short.

    James, What do you think a healthy person does to “enjoy” life, and how does that interact with being healthy/being disciplined?

  • Anonymous

    Plug into the practical dharmma movement, learn two easy meditation techniques and try to practice them in daily life or ideally during a daily sit, things, evolution, accelerates until you reach 4th path – arahatship, full enlightenment – should take a year or two. Then you can go on fighting the same battles except now your mind is hardwired to be a trusted friend, with compassion for yourself and others. I’m not there yet, I’m 2nd path. After obtaining a path (nirvana) your mind actually shuts up for a couple of weeks, so peaceful, just being aware. So all human minds can have four experiences of nirvana in this lifetime and it’s easy enough and highly recommend. Essentially each time a new operating system is loaded into your brain as it reboots. The forth time you are fully undated. One day this will be taught in elementary schools. Peace.

  • http://jlcollinsnh.wordpress.com/2011/06/06/why-you-need-f-you-money/ Jlcollinsnh

    Not sure I’m ready to write a book but…

    1st make sure you have F-you money:  
    http://jlcollinsnh.wordpress.com/2011/06/06/why-you-need-f-you-money/

    2nd, avoid engaging with the jerks:
    http://jlcollinsnh.wordpress.com/2011/06/16/how-not-to-drown-in-the-sea-of-jerks/

    finally, as individuals we only have one obligation to society: To make sure we, and our children, are not a burden to others.  The rest is our choice and it’s worth the effort to enjoy the ride!

  • Lacheraqui

    after years of spiritual study, therapy, sobriety, and an more than fair assortment life-and-death experiences, i’ve distilled it to this: we’re all going to die, so be nice.

    • Lacheraqui

      i meant, A more than fair assortment…

  • amy

    Saying that people reach a ‘tipping point’ when suddenly things get bad in their bodies and they never get any better because they did bad things with their minds is ridiculous. Rather, why not acknowledge something rarely acknowledged in our society: that aging and illness that is natural. This reminds me of people who believe in cancer personalities. It form of magical thinking that lets one person blame another for their ill health and superstitiously protects the accuser from bad things. It’s a delusional ruse. I don’t accept that negative thinking causes illness and death. Have you never met a really bitter, hateful old person? 

  • Anonymous Coward

    gay

  • http://twitter.com/EntreprenKorner EntrepreneursKorner

    Awesome post, this could be useful in helping yourself get motivated. 

    Also Check out this: http://bit.ly/AA9h1B Most entrepreneurs seem to be using those types of elements to adapt in todays society.

    Thanks.

  • Kgb99

    smile.

  • http://www.TheAcsMan.com/ TheAcsMan

    Basically, life’s not fair, so the best anyone can do is to offer advice regarding how to deal with that reality.

    Whether you lead the life of Jed Clampett or Qusay Hussein, something’s not quite right, but it all balances out except for the most unfortunate on the very fringes of existence.

    Again, Woody Allen had it right when describing the two basic categories of people in the world.

  • Anonymous

    Sorry, James…  I hate to be the purveyor of a correction in your otherwise awesome website.   But the line “neither a borrower nor a lender be” is from Shakespeare’s Hamlet.   

    Otherwise, good advice as usual. 

  • Anonymous

    Move.
    Think.
    Listen.
    Help.
    Push.
    Relax.

  • Kara

    My Eight EssentialsI have studied a lot of wisdom traditions, I’ve loved, lost, hurt and been hurt, remembered, forgotten and then pressed repeat. I’ve felt utter despair and sheer joy. I’ve seen total darkness and the brightest light. And I’ve realized that a full, vibrant life always comes back to the basics.1. Practice each day. Find some way to connect with yourself and with your form of God, or the Source of Life. Life requires practice each day. You must connect and reconnect with your own infinite stability in order to realize your own infinite freedom.2. Be nice no matter what. This has been a hard one for me. I can be critical and many times I let my fears get the best of me. Dig deep for the courage to deal with your own stuff, and ask friends and trained professionals for help whenever you need. But whatever you do, never ever be a jerk to another person. That is just a cop-out for turning away from yourself.3. Love yourself no matter what.I know, it can be hard to look in the mirror and not feel love. But this is a big one. It’s key. You must conjure up the deep source of faith that says you are whole, you are great. 4. Go after your own light.As Marianne Williamson says, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.’ We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.” Go after it. Today’s the day. Reach deep and tap into the source of your own creativity.5. Surrender all the time. You know some things but there’s a whole lot that you don’t know and will never understand. That’s okay! The sooner you give in to the grace of (your form of) god, to the ever-flowing source of all life, the sooner you will find your own inner peace and delight.6. Shine the spotlight back inside.All the great stuff in life — happiness, joy, miracles, ease, peace, laughter, humility, play, abundance, creativity, inspiration, and love — come first from the inside. We go searching so long and hard for meaning and love and everything else from the outside but that’s a fool’s game. Whenever you feel lost, alone, or scared, you simply need to shine the spotlight back to your own heart. And all the true love and peace will be right there, from the inside out. No one can ever take that away, and even the darkest dark cannot dim that ever-resplendent flame.7.  Serve the temple of your body.You wouldn’t be here without your body. Treat it well and greatness will come your way. Eat nourishing foods, move your body, rest well, and 8. Return to the GIFT of life each day.I came up with this little acronym to start my days, help me remember my own truth, and ground me when I feel off-balance. G is for Gratitude, I is for Intention, F is for forgiveness, and T is for Trust. It is really easy to go through these quickly any time of day. For example, my GIFT this morning was, “I am Grateful for my remembering my own Heart. My intention is to soften and then soften again. I forgive everyone, including myself. I trust that it’s all unfolding in Divine time, in Divine light.”

    Thanks for asking!
    Kara

    http://www.dietsareoutofstyle.com

  • Chad

    Dear Abby’s advice about talking about others: “is it true?  Is it kind?”  The great teachers:  “do unto others as you would be done by.”  Mine:  “I’m an evil piece of shit, but I’m God’s evil piece of shit.”  From Morita therapy:  “encourage others.”  From Tibetan Buddhism:  “Victory to others, defeat to myself.”  Who says you have to feel great all the time?  As you advise others–“do your practice” (and as they say in Ashtanga yoga–“do your practice and all is coming to you.”)

  • http://www.unmappedcountry.blogspot.com/ Hope

    I kind of did this on my blog the other day. If you want to check it out, do. I’d be thrilled! 

  • Maribell_ge

    – Never be in a place you don’t want to be.  Or with people you don’t want to be.  spend your tine in places and with people who let you be yourself.
    – Walk the path with the people who nurture your soul.
    – If somebody try to change something of you, it is better to change this person.
    – Say what you feel, and don’t be dramatic.
    – Be gratefull, nothing in this life, even your body or your life is for granted.   
    – Be compassionate,  try to feel in yourself what the other is living before making judgments
    – Feel in your body the greatness of the  creator, how? just move your hands, or feel the beating of your heart, you didn’t do these things by your own.