Looking Good

“I have an idea you should do for a blog post,” she said. She was sort of squinting at my face. We were sitting by the river.

I always need a good idea! Tell me!

“Well,” she said, “it’s very important to look your best. So maybe when you, or a reader for instance, wakes up in the morning, they should look at the mirror and find five things they can improve about the way they look that day.”

Uhhh

She started laughing. No, you know what I mean! Not you! But take you for instance. Like, look at you right now. Maybe you could’ve looked in the mirror and trimmed those hairs coming out of your nose. And for some reason it looks like you only shaved half your face. What about the other half. Or this spot here? And you keep scratching yourself over here so now you’re bleeding. And your hair is in every direction! Just leave it alone! And you should clean your glasses. There’s dirt all over your glasses.

Uhhh

The post is not about you! But think about everyone. What if you were going to a meeting? You want to look your best right? Every day I bet everyone could look in the  mirror and find five things to improve about their looks. Like what if you used some moisturizer on your face. And those nose hairs, honey. You can’t go to a meeting with those nose hairs.

Uhhh

Ok! Ok! Don’t even do this as a blog post now. I know what you are going to do.  You are going to make me look bad. I don’t even want you to do this as a blog post now. It was just an ideeeaaa! It’s not a bad idea. Like why didn’t you shave the other half of your face? Did you just forget? Everyone would be better off if they just looked in the mirror and found five things. It’s about success, honey! And improvement. Ok, never mind. Never mind! Promise you won’t do this as a blog post? Do you promise?

Ok

Are you sure. I don’t want you to do this as a blog post now.

I promise.

  • tradereZ

    FIX #2 FIRST JAMES the psoriasis on the end of your nose from all 
    the screen time. lol

  • Zekesnipes

    My great uncle long ago was a Tampa gambling king pin until late ’50s forced into retirement. In the 60’s i grew up spending time with my grandparents but all the Italians had this thing they visited each other continuously on Sundays-we were always at someone’s house. But here at uncle Phillips home he use to sit in a chair looking distant perhaps recounting who he got killed and if they were still planning something so he like having us around to feel safe but you know he didnt know you were in the room with him.

    I do recall him listening to a huge short wave radio when Castro took Cuba following the news since he lost a night club there.

    Anyway the Sicilian lie or give false information when asked about these things until much later as they passed away an uncle gave me a run down and still I had to put pieces together why if Cio gave up his business and was allowed to retire with his ass intact was he worried they were coming for him.

    What I deduced only a few years ago from evidence and gaming theory was he offered his five underlings-who were gunned down weeks apart- as sacrificial lambs so it wasnt that entity who had any interest in him but only the families of those killed if ever truth emerged and there would be many.

    Anyway back to grooming.  As I was sitting at his house those days I noticed an huge clump of nasty looking pubic type hair growing out of his ear.  So it dawned on me recently why didnt his wife ever offer to trim that crap?  People just would not approach him about anything he had the last word and you never had a chance to speak because all he knew was the game in all respects was fixed.

  • hahahahaha

  • You know what I think? I think people spend too much time in front of the mirror and trying to improve and micro-manage the way they look. I think our whole society is a just a bit overly concerned with looks. It’s good to brush your teeth and all, but improve 5 things?  Naw. Don’t worry about it. And for my job, where I’m welding or doing construction all day, some nose hairs aren’t going to be the worst thing that happens to my looks. My hands will get dirty/gritty, I’ll cut myself and bleed, probably pick up a bruise some where, who knows… Women can spend time in the mirror if they want, but as men? Not being overly concerned is part of our charm.

  • Come on dude, shave all your face if you’re going to shave any. I think that’s her main point, beside the blog post. 

  • Mzervas

    I think this was an excellent idea for a blog post. Some people have low self esteem because of their natural looks. Finding things that you CAN improve is important.

  • Tom

    James:Thank you for posting and Claudia for her willingness to be in the soup.

    Over the weekend, I was at a large volleyball tournament. Many times the young women would serve the ball into the net or
    out of bounds In
    observing them, I could tell
    immediately in their body positioning that they had left their body. Claudia’s flirt with
    looking at the mirror to be
    self-correcting reminds me of the young women serving. Thinking about looking “good” is the same as thinking about “serving good.” If I follow Claudia’s flirt it might be something about her
    self-acceptance or her “improving” her appearance. She is
    beautiful, just like the young women playing volleyball.I think as a man, I benefit from cultural norms, but as a child recently asked me: “do you put highlights in hair?” I love this question, as I was passing through to visit my daughter’s awards ceremony. At this event, I was hiding from my daughter because the awards were a secret. We had been fighting for a few days before the ceremony as she did not want to attend. She knew something was up when I requested she attend the ceremony. At the ceremony, she started looking around for her parents and found me hiding in the front row. She said, “I could tell it was you from your hair highlights. All the other dads were sporting the Grecian Formula look, and
    there
    was my dad up front with his hair highlights.”It may feel to Claudia that I am marginalizing her idea or observation, but please thank her as her flirt reminded me
    I am just passing through, and if I follow my body
    flirts;
    I can reconnect to the things that touch the spirit – a dad with highlights visiting his
    beautiful daughter.

  • Haha! Well at least she tried not to hurt your feelings.

    Title of this post should be – Don’t look disgusting.

  • Josh

    So….why did you only shave half your face? 

    • Sometimes happens to me if I shave in the shower. Almost always miss a spot.

  • Sooz

    aHAAa..:))
    thanks for the grin, Claudia.
    i think this was a perfect blog entry/idea.

  • Cecilia Snyder

    Your wife is hilarious — love her!

  • The challenge isn’t just to look ‘good’, but to look different than everyone else by looking like YOURSELF.

    Basic hygiene is a given… but to be willing to look different than all the other drones is a lot more fun.

    Today I’m scheduled for an important meeting and instead of showing up in standard business 1.0 attire I’m showing up in my full Triumph motorcycle riding gear with my satchel briefcase slung over my back.

    I know I’ll stand out – I’m just betting I’ll stand out in a good way. And even if I don’t … heck, being myself and riding my bike is part of MY definition of success.

    • Well my pimp suit didn’t go over well at meetings, so don’t overdo it. 

  • Dspidero

    This proves to me that you are a comic genius James.  And Claudia loves you.  

  • Your killing me… just realized I forgot to shave today… sigh….

  • mikeyhell

    Part of the daily practice includes tending to the physical self. Certainly the physical self extends to nose hairs, among other details. 

  • JamesNCleveland
  • Tim Public

    That’s how a good wife fixes up her biggest project! She hides it in a suggestion about a blog idea.

    Now, about those nose hairs!

  • NoSuckupsAllowed

    Kiss a$$

  • Anu

    This is too good!!! I love it…:)  But seriously, do you shave half of your face? Why not the other half? 

  • Anu

    This is too good !!!! I love it ..:) But seriously, do you always shave half of your face?? Why not the other half?? But I guess with you anything is possible…lol !! you are a strange man. But I like reading your posts….:) 

  • ClaudiaYoga

    You know WHAT?!  

  • too funny!

  • This is funny to read because just yesterday I said to my husband when he walked in, “That shirt isn’t the best.  It’s too big.  It doesn’t look good on you.”  I also told him to get his hair re-cut, because the last cut was not done right; he agreed with me on both counts, but especially the haircut.  Trust me – it wasn’t just me being critical about the hair.  Yet he will procrastinate going to get it corrected unless I nag him.

    I cant force him to get a better haircut, but I did order some new, better-fitting shirts for him, though, so the episode was generally constructive.

    Oh, I also periodically tell him that his belly is too big and he needs to lose weight.  I’m sure someone is about to write me up as a total b*tch, but he thinks he needs to lose weight even more than I think he does (I think he’s great the way he is except that it matters healthwise.  If health were not a factor there would be no other factor and he could gain 100 lbs. for all I care.)  Hearing it from me now and then makes him all the more determined to peel the pounds off.  Oh, and I give him about 99 compliments for every reminder that he needs to work on something.

  • Once you know you are going to hell, it takes all the pressure off, doesn’t it?

    How does she put up with your relentless authenticity?  Is it the cornerstone of the pre-nup that she has to endure the candor that any other couple relegates to pillow-talk or the throes of a real “no holds barred” fight?

  • Demian Farnworth

    Talk about hygiene too much and you’ll look like a metrosexual (the disease that leeches away a man’s masculinity). 

  • Lori

    see how she managed to tie it to your interests? if you liked to golf, she’d tell you cutting your nose hair could improve your swing. ;o)

  • this is hilarious! i mean, painful for YOU maybe, but oh so entertaining for the rest of us!  ;)

  • love it

  • Looking good is important.
    Like one’s more likely to read a cartoon, or a comic book, if it’s well drawn, or to listen to someone if one speaks pleasantly, I think people appreciate someone who looks good, and takes care of oneself. 

  • gg

     James, your “stylish disarray” is part of your charm. Keep the nose hairs.

  • Maricar Gaviola

    reminds me of that story of a couple who lived in Paris. It was early morning & the wife who just got out of bed said to her husband Im going down the street to get some bread. What looking like that( she was wearing her tracksuit, no make up). she said, ‘yes its just bread, no one will see me’.The husband said ‘ but honey what about the poor baker?’