“I have an idea you should do for a blog post,” she said. She was sort of squinting at my face. We were sitting by the river.
I always need a good idea! Tell me!
“Well,” she said, “it’s very important to look your best. So maybe when you, or a reader for instance, wakes up in the morning, they should look at the mirror and find five things they can improve about the way they look that day.”
She started laughing. No, you know what I mean! Not you! But take you for instance. Like, look at you right now. Maybe you could’ve looked in the mirror and trimmed those hairs coming out of your nose. And for some reason it looks like you only shaved half your face. What about the other half. Or this spot here? And you keep scratching yourself over here so now you’re bleeding. And your hair is in every direction! Just leave it alone! And you should clean your glasses. There’s dirt all over your glasses.
The post is not about you! But think about everyone. What if you were going to a meeting? You want to look your best right? Every day I bet everyone could look in the mirror and find five things to improve about their looks. Like what if you used some moisturizer on your face. And those nose hairs, honey. You can’t go to a meeting with those nose hairs.
Ok! Ok! Don’t even do this as a blog post now. I know what you are going to do. You are going to make me look bad. I don’t even want you to do this as a blog post now. It was just an ideeeaaa! It’s not a bad idea. Like why didn’t you shave the other half of your face? Did you just forget? Everyone would be better off if they just looked in the mirror and found five things. It’s about success, honey! And improvement. Ok, never mind. Never mind! Promise you won’t do this as a blog post? Do you promise?
Are you sure. I don’t want you to do this as a blog post now.