Archive for November, 2012

  • My First Customer Is Now Dead
    Posted by on November 28th, 2012 at 9:17 am, Comments: 0

     

    I was lonely and I wanted money. I was living in a one bedroom apartment in Astoria, Queens, NYC in 1995. I knew nobody in the area. I would write my phone number on two dollar bills and tip waitresses with them. Nobody called me. Everyone in Astoria is Greek. And they pretty much stick to themselves.

    Nobody would talk to me. I would walk for miles in Astoria hoping that just one person would talk to me.

  • Why “50 Shades of Grey” Is Great Literature
    Posted by on November 26th, 2012 at 9:07 am, Comments: 0

     

    I got an erection this morning while reading 50 Shades of Grey by EL James, the newest nominated book for the National Book Award. I can’t help it. She speaks to me.

    Everyone is very upset. Even angry. I’ve seen about five blog posts already this morning that have cried out that “great literature” is now officially dead because of EL James (born “Erika Leonard”) reaching heights of either marketing or recognition that they can never hope for.

    (Angelina Jolie wants to direct the movie)

  • How To Change, What are My Economic Views, How To Meet Your Heroes, and More
    Posted by on November 21st, 2012 at 8:47 am, Comments: 0

     

    WHY DO YOU NOT CHANGE EVEN IF YOU NEED TO?

    cassidysummers ‏@cassidysummers: Why, even if you know you need to change, can one not change?

    Answer:

    It was time for me to pee on my boss’s desk. When I took the job two years earlier I was told, “the only way to get fired is to pee on your boss’s desk”. I had to go the bathroom. His office was right there. I wanted a reason to get the hell out of there. Why couldn’t I pee on his desk?

  • What Should You Accomplish In Life?
    Posted by on November 19th, 2012 at 9:00 am, Comments: 0

    [In my twitter Q&A, Ben asked:]

    Ben Yu ‏@Intenex: What do you want to accomplish with your life / why are you living?

    Answer:

    My 10 year old daughter and I sat down to watch “Shark Tank” last night. I made a joke. Something like, “and the sixth shark is ME!” Because, of course, I wanted to brag and lie in front of a ten year old who could care less.

    At the beginning of Shark Tank they mention that all five of the “judges” (Mark Cuban, etc) are “filthy rich”.

  • The Four Golden Keys to Art and Happiness
    Posted by on November 15th, 2012 at 9:21 am, Comments: 0

    The last time I had seen her she was doing crack, trying to offer me some, and rambling to an imaginary dead brother through a broken television screen in the hotel room I had just paid for. She had beautiful brown curls and dreadlocks going down half her body. I was debating what I could do. It was in 1995. I got scared and left. At that moment, I felt like I was in over my head. Like I was swimming but I didn’t know which direction the air was. It took a long time for to breathe in the air and when I did, I squandered it. But that was then.