Archive for June, 2013

FIVE QUOTES TO MAKE YOUR BS DETECTOR BETTER

I’m on a war against bullshit. Not other people’s bullshit. That war is unwinnable. Everyone lives in their own private bullshitorium and they will never leave it even to say “hello” to you. But my own bullshit. I can’t stand when I’m thinking or saying something and then I realize, “I just lost the battle […] Read On…

Everything is Funny All the Time

One time my neighbor said, “you have to come in and meet my boss. He can put up to a hundred million dollars into your fund.” So we went into town and met his boss. We spoke for quite a bit. I felt like I was impressing the boss. Maybe this would be a new […] Read On…

It’s Ten Times Harder to Come Back

One day I was so scared, I couldn’t get out of bed. I felt empty because everything I had ever worked for and ever wished for had gotten me to this point: lying on a mattress with no job, no money, no friends or family. But I wasn’t scared about the past. I was scared […] Read On…

WHY I’M NOT RUNNING FOR CONGRESS

This week I was going to announce I was running for Congress. I was taking it very seriously and for the past three months this was the week I was planning on announcing. I had hired people to run the campaign. I had gotten great advice. I had studied the current incumbent in my district. […] Read On…

Claudia is Worried I Will Be Killed for Posting This

I stopped a ten million dollar robbery last week. For various reasons, including Claudia is slightly worried I could get killed, I am changing all of the names. All of the other details are intact. A few weeks ago, a guy claiming to be related to Middle Eastern royalty, (call him “M”), had a representative […] Read On…

How to Be King of the World

  I can totally dominate my 11 year old daughter in tennis. I kick her ass basically. Like, if she hits an easy shot, I can slam it back to the other side of the court and with her small legs there’s no way she can run to catch the ball. That’s the way I […] Read On…

It Was Incredibly Difficult Week For Me

This has been a hard week for me. I’m not very good at asking for things. But this week I asked a lot. A LOT. I’m always trying to think of people I can introduce to each other who can provide value for each other. I’m always trying to think of ideas of what I […] Read On…