What is the best way to gain more confidence in yourself?

What is the best way to gain more confidence in yourself? –@kaufman

The real question is: why don’t you have confidence. There are several answers so see which category you fit in:

A)you’re young and don’t have enough experience. For instance, a five year old SHOULD NOT feel confident about driving a car.

B) you’re older but don’t know enough about the area you need confidence in. You can’t go play in an orchestra if you’ve never picked up a musical instrument.

C) you’re afraid of rejection. You want to speak to the girl at the bar, or you want to speak up in a meeting, but you are afraid you will be laughed at.

D) you’re afraid to fail. You want to start a business but you are afraid it could fail and you’ve just wasted time and money.

With all four things there’s experience and practice.

You get experience through: reading about other people who have been through what you would like to go through, by working for people who are doing what you would like to do, by studying with people who have done what you would like to do, and by actually doing. Do all four things. I never take on a new endeavor without doing all four of the above. Read, Study, Work, Do. And a fifth thing: analyze intensely all failures. Then repeat.

In order to do this there’s an important sub-category – not being afraid to speak your mind. If you don’t know something: ask. Don’t be afraid to say what you think, even in a meeting. Make sure it’s backed by reading and studying. If you still don’t know something: ask. This goes for even meeting the girl in the bar. You get more confidence by speaking to her. If she says “no”, then ask the next girl. Just don’t be rude (again, reading, studying, thinking about your failures, analyzing them, will help you through that).

Do the five things I list above over and over and you will get confidence on any topic you want.

  • dan

    i love this perograph:
    You get experience through: reading about other people who have been through what you would like to go through, by working for people who are doing what you would like to do, by studying with people who have done what you would like to do, and by actually doing. Do all four things. I never take on a new endeavor without doing all four of the above. Read, Study, Work, Do. And a fifth thing: analyze intensely all failures. Then repeat.